Learning how to be parents for teenagers
Finding balance and proper communication between parents and teens seems, most of the time, an impossible challenge to overcome.
As parents, we find that those loving, obedient, charming children always anxious for our company have suddenly become unloving adolescents, disobedient, rebellious with better plans than our company. We feel that the communication line has been broken, does not work anymore, we do not know how to make them recognize a certain discipline. This fact is a cause of concern and therefore the best solution is to remember our own adolescence, understand and adapt to change. If we look at how we felt and behaved when we were teenagers, we can get many answers at a time to understand our children, to comprehend that our role in the process of change during family life is essential for both, as well as to accept that our children must meet their own expectations and ambitions instead of ours, will help them on the road for decisions-making by their own.
In recent years, the progress made by science about comprehension of brain function at different stages of our life has shown that the brain works differently during adolescence than in adulthood. When we are born our brain consists of hundreds of billions of neurons which begin to make connections between them. During adolescence, the brain starts a process called “synaptic pruning” seeking to remove neural connections underutilized to ensure sufficient brain capacity and develop the most used. This process continuous until late adulthood and once this process ends our brain is able to perform more complex tasks and we are able to pay more attention. Thinking about brain changes occurring in our children during adolescent stage and those produced when we are adults help us live this situation as an opportunity to change our own behavior. We must consider whether we help in decisionsmaking process or we continue to decide for them, if we are capable of seeing them as independent individuals or whether our actions disguised to do the best for them reflect our own hopes, dreams, goals and objectives, if we feel hurt by their lack of confidence in us as parents to tell us their experiences and our behavior shows a lack of confidence in them ...
Once they have expressed their arguments, to encourage communication, ask their opinion, listen to them, explain our reasons why we take one position or another (in this part is important that we recognize if our position reflects and transmits our own fears) will make our living together much more participatory and increase their confidence.
In the same way that they are going through their learning process to be adults, we are living our learning process to be parents of teens. They need to know and to understand that we are all living our own process, that together we can help and we can all learn from everyone, it’s time to give each of other the best of our creativity to achieve this, in this way they will grow up knowing that each day is always a new opportunity.
Tags: Mind and body